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Showing posts with label Local News. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Local News. Show all posts

“Authoritarianism gets results!” screams government spokesman at SEA Games

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Manila, The Philippines – “Yes! Fuck yes! Việt Nam vô địch!” whooped an ecstatic Nguyen Bữa Tiệc after watching the Vietnamese footbal...
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Study finds social media users in Vietnam more likely to comment on stories without reading

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Ba Đình, Hanoi – Researchers today revealed a staggering 82 percent of social media users in Vietnam will vent spleen into the ethersp...

Dog would rather be stolen and eaten than listen to vegan owner

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Tây Hồ, Hanoi – A local Labrador has today revealed he would rather be stolen, brutally hacked apart and callously marinated before be...

Train Street closed after failing to meet fatality quota for 117th year running

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Hoàn Kiếm, Hanoi – Controversy ran amok in the capital last week, following authorities’ decision to close down the iconic tourist hot...
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Hanoi’s pollution not as toxic as online discussion of pollution

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Ba Đình, Hanoi – While the skyline of the Vietnamese capital has become a hazy mess of angry particulate matter farted directly out of...
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Hanoi-based ESL teacher outsmarts 97 percent of climate scientists

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Predictably, Tây Hồ, Hanoi – Following a few choice words from a 16-year-old Swedish girl on the topic of global warming, netizens of ...

Heart-warming: Young buffalo makes grandma breakfast after night of meth-fuelled vehicular crimes

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Long Biên, Hanoi – In scenes of uncharacteristic heart-tickling sweetness, ruffian, yobbo and committed Trẻ Trâu, Nguyen Kẻ Xấu return...
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Hanoi sharks reportedly migrating south to Saigon’s metro lines

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Quận 1, Saigon – Top ranking Vietnamese sources have today confirmed Saigon’s fury with Hanoi authorities for using up all of the good...

Tinder date gets hands on wrong kind of dong

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Ba Đình, Hanoi – Awaking with dim memories of rice wine induced carnal pleasures, 24-year-old Albert Strong was today paying the price...
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“No mercury in lightbulbs,” insists government official in hazmat suit

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Secret underground bunker, Hanoi – Addressing residents of the capital city through a pre-recorded message, a junior government offici...

“Nothing colonial about the way I live,” says Tây Hồ teacher

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Tây Hồ, Hanoi – As the nation reluctantly returns to the putrid swamp of gainful employment following Vietnam’s 74 th Independence Da...

We don’t deserve Hanoi’s Weatherdude, sigh Hanoians

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Cầu Giấy, Hanoi – Noting that the sheer radiant brilliance and purity of Hanoi’s Weatherdude is simply too good to be longed for the V...

Determined traffic cop learns how to ask for bribes in 12 languages

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Ba Đình, Hanoi – Rarely does The Durian take pause from its unrelenting assault on privileged foreigners hell-bent on undermining the ...

Hanoi Opera House to be replaced with huge grey box

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Hoàn Kiếm, Hanoi – A stunning example of French colonial architecture, cultural touchstone and site of major events in the history of ...

Begpacker still thinks he’s cooler than friends back home

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Hoàn Kiếm, Hanoi – Following days without a single donation to his self-proclaimed “Shoestring Super-Soul Tour of Love” a visibly maln...

Local gecko actually depraved pervert

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Long Biên, Hanoi – It has emerged today that the adorable little gecko critter who’s been shaking his cutie-booty all over local man, ...

Delays to Hanoi Metro project blamed on sharks on construction sites

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Hà Đông, Hanoi – Hanoi Metro has been one of the Vietnamese capital’s most eagerly anticipated construction projects, but with delays ...

Hanoi unveils new “traffic-proof” ambulances

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Đống Đa, Hanoi – Hanoi paramedics proudly unveiled their latest life-saving innovation today at a press conference outside Đừng Chết H...

UN peacekeepers to be deployed to Vietnam’s Facebook groups

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Tây Hồ, Hanoi – Following years of entirely justified rage and unrest online, a coalition of group admins has requested the assistance...