English Teacher leaving Hanoi selling half-eaten burger on Facebook - The Durian - Hanoi's Smelliest News


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English Teacher leaving Hanoi selling half-eaten burger on Facebook

Tây Hồ, Hanoi – In a desperate bid to raise funds before returning to her native home of America, unqualified English teacher, Cheryl Williams, has posted a series of items for sale on Facebook, including a half-eaten burger.

The since-deleted post was bravely wrestled to the ground, before it was subdued by The Durian reporters and will now live eternally as a screenshot of a scar on our collective conscience.

Williams’ post in popular Facebook group, Hanoi Massive Community has since seen her ridiculed as the entitled skidmark on society that she doubtless is after advertising that numerous items she’s been using in her life on a daily basis could now be yours for prices that proved marginally cheaper than buying any of the items new.

Despite earning in excess of $25 USD per hour as an English teacher, a position for which Williams is in no way qualified for, the befuddled American established new depths to which she could sink the expat community by attempting to flog a half-eaten burger, an assortment of presumably cold fries and a white plate over the internet.

Numerous users have taken to the social media platform to express their disgust, with one individual branding Williams “the worst thing to come out of America since Ronald Reagan trod this Earth with his tiny, little hooves.”

As the 23-year-old braces for an expensive one-way flight coupled with soaring rent prices and limited employment opportunities following a one year stint as an English teacher in Hanoi, Williams spoke exclusively with The Durian as our reporters grappled with the moral conundrum of defenestrating her as more trifling gibberish was spouted directly from her face-hole.

“Like I don’t know why people are so unhappy, burgers are great – sure this one’s not in mint condition, but it’s still visibly a burger and frankly, it’s probably more of a deal than people realise,” she explained, while our reporters forced back the urge to projectile vomit into her stupid face, “Besides, why wouldn’t someone want my used stuff? I wash my hands pretty regularly and besides, I’ve got, like, 30 coat-hangers or something, what am I supposed to do? Leave them for my successor so they can profit off them? No way – I ain’t some basic bitch, I love cash money!”

Responding to allegations that she was indeed acting like a basic bitch and that earning $25 USD should clearly negate the need to be selling items online such as swimming goggles, photocopied Vietnamese phrasebooks or framed photos of her and her family, let alone half-eaten burgers, Williams stated, “You don’t know my story, like, only God can judge me!”

“I can’t even,” she added, before storming out of the interview.

Hopefully no more on this story should it develop into further degrading calamity.

The Durian is a satirical news outlet, all of our stories are completely fictional, designed only to amuse and entertain. Any resemblance to people living or dead is purely coincidental and in no way intended to hurt your feelings. Sorry for pointing out the obvious, but there’s an abundance of humourless morons out there.


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