‘Lay a Tây’ dating app bound to get someone deported

Hai Bà Trưng, Hanoi - In what critics are calling the worst marketing blunder since Kendall Jenner boldly halted the deeply-rooted systemic racial prejudice of America’s police force armed with nothing but a can of Pepsi, local dating app, Lay a Tây, has been accused of neo-colonial approaches to romance.

 Through sponsored ads appearing across social media, Lay a Tây’s controversial tagline, “A Tây is for your bedroom, not just the classroom” has been met with the ridicule it obviously deserves.

Stating she was outraged after looking up the meaning of the colloquialism “lay,” local bachelorette, Ms. Nguyen spoke exclusively to The Durian reporters to express her outrage.

“Why would I want to take a Tây home with me? The only Vietnamese they can speak is ‘hai bia’, you can’t take them to weddings as they refuse to eat delicious boiled chicken and they stink of the horrid cheeses they’re all addicted to” she said.

A spokesperson for Lay a Tây was contacted, but declined to comment. 

The company has since put out a statement through their Instagram account claiming “We meant no harm in our jocular attempts to acquire fornication for the lovelorn westerners occupying Hanoi, it’s really more like a services exchange app – where users can swap explanations of the finer points regarding English grammar or renditions of Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes for sexual favours, which is really just a formalisation of many personal ads on Facebook groups when you think about it.”

At press time our reporters were questioning what kind of gutless cowards release statements through Instagram, and if this means they’ll have to download yet another soul and phone battery sucking app.

The Durian is a satirical news outlet, all of our stories are completely fictional, designed only to amuse and entertain. Any resemblance to people living or dead is purely coincidental and in no way intended to hurt your feelings. Sorry for pointing out the obvious, but there’s an abundance of humourless morons out there.