House-cleaner clearly losing passion for job

Cầu Giấy, Hanoi – Residents of an expat house share in Cầu Giấy have today expressed concern for the mental wellbeing of their house-cleaner following the discovery of largely unclean areas throughout their abode.

“I popped my head in the bathroom and she was like, just standing there, pointing the showerhead at one spot on the wall,” said Christopher Smuttings, a relatively recent addition to the house that Nguyen Đụ Nó is paid expected to clean in three hours in exchange for just 150,000VND.

Smuttings, an English teacher by day – hangover permitting – claimed that Nguyen’s passion for mopping up his shit might be waning, citing a notable lack of enthusiasm and dedication to the craft of janitorial duties.

“Honestly – I’m two hundred percent sure she just sprays the shower over everything in the bathroom, maybe if we paid her more she could appreciate why toilet paper needs to stay dry, but I feel that if this isn’t for her, then maybe she should just drop it all to follow her dreams – that’s what I was always privileged enough to believe,” said the British man who, in all his 26 years of life, had never once expressed an interest in teaching.

With the cockroach faeces piling up faster than the empty Bia Hanoi cans that adorned virtually every horizontal surface of the Cầu Giấy residence, Nguyen’s three-hour performance has recently left a number of the housemates cold.

“Her heart’s just not in it anymore, I mean where are the little mints that go on the pillow? She might be in her 60s, but what? She can’t put her back into the crusted semen on my sheets? More crucially, why does she leave when she’s done – we’re only going to make it dirty again and there’s a perfectly good cupboard under the stairs for her to stay in with her cleaning equipment,” lamented long-term American resident Jenn-Casandra de Voight.

“I swear she used to have a little something called passion when it came to dealing with those stubborn ceramic stains, but now I feel like she’s let the interminable cycle of decay that we inflict upon her weekly has really broken her spirit – she won’t even touch my vomit-coated laundry now,” she added.

At this point, de Voight revealed that to aid the plight of Nguyen, she would leave a self-help novel entitled “Reigniting the Flames of Custodian Passion” under the sofa for Nguyen to find next week and claims to shed a tear for all of Hanoi’s working class, despite jackals not possessing tear ducts.

When contacted for comment, Nguyen Đụ Nó simply giggled “Those little fuckheads have no idea I’ve been farting in their fridge for weeks now.”

At the time of writing Smuttings and de Voight were gladly gorging on their 280,000VND block of cheese from Annam Gourmet.