Panic grips office as colleague fails to wake up from lunchtime nap - The Durian - Hanoi's Smelliest News


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Panic grips office as colleague fails to wake up from lunchtime nap

Đống Đa, Hanoi – What started out as a lunch break like any other at a literally sleepy office in Phương Mai, Đống Đa District, escalated into a full-blown panic when 24 year old app developer, Nguyen Hoang, failed to wake from his post-lunch nap.

The bustling office in the city centre has only been populated by app-cum-mobile games developer, T1M3 K1LLA$ since April this year, but for many of the staff working there today, that’s already too soon to witness a casualty in the workplace. 

During the authorised one and a half hour lunch break, the office was reportedly alive with the sounds of jocular camaraderie and eager chewing, but a routinely scheduled nap quickly got out of hand when colleagues noticed that Nguyen still hadn’t lifted his head from his desk almost an hour after lunch had ended.

Choking back tears, Tran Van Viet, a senior app developer famed for his involvement in the now viral Goat Simulator 4 game, stated that his colleague Nguyen had seemed fine throughout lunch.

“It all felt so normal – he absolutely inhaled his cơm gà. I just don’t understand how such a promising young man could be struck down in his prime like this, I know the weather’s changed, but this is just a huge, huge blow.”

Sources close to Nguyen confirmed that his final lunch was indeed a run of the mill ingestion experience, one that involved gorging rapidly on rice and chicken, staring abjectly at his phone in silence for some time before descending into slumber on his desk. 

“He was so full of life, he just – he had so much more to give!” added Tran.

Dishevelled and distraught, Khanh Quinh, co-worker and sharer of Nguyen’s desk, spoke to The Durian to recount finding an unresponsive Nguyen face down next to his laptop.

“The lights came up and we all got back to work, but there was Hoang, still napping and I knew that he liked his naps, then I thought maybe it was down to the change in weather and that he was just extra tired or even that it might be a joke or something, but then when he wouldn’t wake up, it was just horrific.”

“I thought about trying to shake him,” finding the courage to go on despite herself, Khanh continued, “But y’know, boys are pretty gross, so I called a supervisor and now this,” motioning at Nguyen’s still form that, throughout the afternoon, hadn’t budged from his office napping position.

As cleaners diligently discarded empty Red Bull cans that had littered his workspace, a beaming Nguyen flashed our reporter a grin, “Is it working?” he whispered “I fucking hate this job.”

At press time, we understand that a dedicated Nguyen kept us his act through two candlelit vigils, an ambulance ride to the morgue and his own autopsy.

The Durian is a satirical news outlet, all of our stories are completely fictional, designed only to amuse and entertain. Any resemblance to people living or dead is purely coincidental and in no way intended to hurt your feelings. Sorry for pointing out the obvious, but there’s an abundance of humourless morons out there.

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