Local man’s attempt at 3-point turn absolutely heart-breaking - The Durian - Hanoi's Smelliest News


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Local man’s attempt at 3-point turn absolutely heart-breaking

Đống Đa, Hanoi – Onlookers were today forced to avert their eyes out of sheer pity as local man, later identified as Bị Mắc Kẹt, made an ambitious attempt at a three-point turn in the middle of Lê Duẩn.

Bystanders confirmed that the 36-year-old Hanoi man appeared calm and content atop his 2.2 tonne wheeled throne, but soon became flustered after turning onto Lê Duẩn, which, sources from within the car assured reporters, used to be a two-way street at some point.

It was here that Bi, no longer content to abide by the laws of his fatherland or physics, began to manoeuvre his vehicle with such overarching hubris that left cringing motorists no choice but to watch in agony the slow-motion disaster unravel.

“This is honestly one of the saddest things I think I’ve ever seen,” claimed one distressed motorist, “I mean Trump is locking up children, we’re sliding into a global recession and the world’s largest rainforest is burning, but what he [Bi] is doing to that car is inhumane.

“I think I’d rather watch tiny puppies getting kicked, face-first, into a wood-chipper than have to suffer this heartrending display of ineptitude,” she said, shaking her head.

Statements given to Hanoi traffic authorities suggest Bi’s face passing through as many as 13 shades of purple as he agonisingly twisted the car back and forth into a range of contorted angles that no vehicle should attempt on an actual road.

“Man, it was like watching a figure-skater fall down, but if the figure-skater was a pissed-up hippo and the ice rink was a very public road in Hanoi,” claimed Nguyen Bốn Bánh, the police officer tasked with directing traffic around the lurching Land Rover Discovery.

“He just had this look of helplessness, like an angry middle-aged deer caught in his own headlights, we have a moral responsibility to act,” he added.

Reporters on scene were requested to look away as a tent was erected around Bi’s car and he was humanely put down to ease the misery and suffering of everyone with eyes on the road.

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