Man with offensive facial tattoo more than qualified to teach children - The Durian - Hanoi's Smelliest News


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Man with offensive facial tattoo more than qualified to teach children

Tây Hồ, Hanoi - A Hanoi-based English language centre has defended its decision to employ a teacher who had the words ‘pussy monster’ tattooed on his face.

22-year-old Bret Carter, from the United States, was initially concerned that his spur-of-the-moment choice to permanently disfigure his face with ink would preclude any chance of gainful employment overseas.

Fortunately for Bret, his work studying for the 120-hour online TEFL course paid off, with the English centre management declaring him “a superb candidate.”

“We interviewed a number of English teachers for the position. However, Bret stood out because of his excellent qualifications,” said Nguyen Thi Nguyen, head of the establishment.

“Some parents did question the meaning of the tattoo. We explained that this was a traditional phrase of worship in Bret’s home province of Pennsylvania.”

Thanks to his diligent studies with, the young English teacher now earns more than 10 times the local average wage and can finally start paying back his overdue rent.

The tattoo session, administered by a friend, took place at a bar in Hanoi’s popular Tay Ho district. Bret recalls the fateful moment with pride.

“We spent a number of minutes discussing the best combination of words to tattoo on my face. In the end, I felt the phrase ‘pussy monster’ best represented my personality and ambitions,” Bret explains, clutching his crumpled TEFL certificate.

“The only downside is I have to cake my face in concealer when I Facetime my mother.”

Asked if he had any regrets, Bret said he just wished the lettering was “slightly larger.”

The Durian is a satirical news outlet, all of our stories are completely fictional, designed only to amuse and entertain. Any resemblance to people living or dead is purely coincidental and in no way intended to hurt your feelings. Sorry for pointing out the obvious, but there’s an abundance of humourless morons out there.


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